Welcome back to the author commentary on Pathways in the Dark. SPOILER WARNING ahead! I’m talking about Trustfall today…
Starting Points
Trustfall was the first tale in the collection I wrote. It was immediately after finishing The Medusa Coin. I was on a roll and wanted to keep the momentum of the series.
Why this one first?
The story about Ruiz and his daughter on a college campus was one of the initial thoughts I put down on paper when putting the collection together. If you know me, Ruiz is my favorite character in the series. I love writing him and really enjoy his interactions with other members of the cast.
At the end of The Medusa Coin, Ruiz realizes he can’t keep hiding from his wife. Not without losing her to the divide he’s built over the last two decades. So the question became what is the natural extension of that?
Enter: Zoe
If Ruiz is truly willing to start trusting in his family and opening up to his wife about what is happening in the city, how could I test that to the fullest?
That was my starting point. And my response was the introduction of Zoe, his eldest daughter.
For 18 years Ruiz has been able to keep his family safe in the northern coves. Away from downtown Portents. Away from the danger.
But now Zoe is going to college. One of the scariest things any parent has to endure.
How do you survive that in a city like Portents?
Building on that idea…
From there the pieces fell in line pretty quickly. Keeping Zoe and Ruiz, as well as his struggle to let her live her own life was central to making the story work.
But what could test that relationship? What could pull at them both?
That was where the challenge came from with this story and by pulling from the past I realized the story was there right from the start. I’ll be talking more about that next time.
The Opening Chapter
I’m a fan of the inciting incident. It’s the idea that a singular event occurs that drives the rest of the story. In Signs of Portents, it is the murder of Vlad. In The Medusa Coin, it is Henry Erikson summoning the Charon.
Typically it is an external force set on a collision course with the protagonist.
For Pathways in the Dark, I set out to mix things up with how the stories were paced.
Trustfall was one such experiment.
The scene at home with Ruiz doing the dishes was one I went back and forth on. For a couple reasons:
- I was concerned it didn’t draw the reader in enough. It’s a lengthy scene without overt conflict. There was the fear of driving readers away rather than pushing them to the next chapter where we start to see what’s happening on the campus.
- It was a LONG scene. I try to keep chapters short. Jump in and jump right out at the first opportunity. For this story I stayed in that kitchen for a long time, weaving in the conflict in the background through their discussion. I have my reasons. First and foremost was the change in Ruiz from The Medusa Coin. A happy and relaxed family man versus the stressed and overworked police captain previously seen. The second, and equally important, reason was to show a different dynamic than the audience was used to when reading Greystone. Ruiz is the only family man in the cast and I wanted to play up that angle.
I think the scene works. It sets things up on a relationship level and layers in the conflict to come. Starting internal and then expanding in the following moments keeps the central conflict on Ruiz. Always a plus in my eyes.
Of course, I could be wrong. Maybe it was self-indulgent having this winding conversation instead of jumping into things.
What do you think? Shoot me an email at lou@loupaduano.com
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