There are many thoughts to pull together when building a scene. It’s something I struggle with when staging my books, how to tell a simple action in narrative form. For my latest project, The Bridge, I ran into a specific scene where I wasn’t sure if it needed to be told completely differently.
What it boils down to are stylistic choices.
What do I mean by stylistic choices?
Is your book action-based? Fast-paced? Slow and prosaic to set the mood of each setting? What is the tone of your book? Do you spend three pages describing the room or do you jump into the dialogue immediately? Each and every decision made sets the scene and builds on the stylistic choices of your narrative.
Every author makes them. Every author probably curses each one as well.
My approach
I get a lot of compliments for smaller chapters. There is a reason I use them. It keeps the action at the forefront and presses the momentum of the story forward to the climax. When the pace slows it is meant to be there, a questioning moment for a character or possibly a new setting that needs to be established. Look at any Greystone novel and you will see these chapters clearly for what they are, a break from a story to give some exposition in one form or another.
However, they are not the norm.
For The Bridge, I fell in love with the idea of stepping back from the action of the scene to describe the situation in more detail. It failed spectacularly. It didn’t fit because it wasn’t me, it wasn’t the right time to be maudlin but to push the action over anything else.
Looking at other authors
I’ve been reading a few books lately where I’ve felt the same was needed. Jay Allan, who writes the brilliant Blood on the Stars series had an early chapter in Duel in the Dark where Katrine gets the opportunity to visit home for a brief moment before heading off to start a war. Allan goes into great detail about the affair, about the luxury of seeing her children, their home and the character’s personal feelings on the matter.
It goes on for quite a bit.
To him, this is an important character moment for you to sympathize with this character who is most likely the villain of the novel. (Not done yet. Don’t spoil it.)
To me, I would have opened the scene at its end when she leaves her children in the night rather than say goodbye. From there I would work in some of the details, the irregularity of being able to see her family and the like. Mostly, however, I would have collapsed the prose for more movement on the plot.
In Dean F. Wilson’s Dustrunner I ran into the opposite feeling. Wilson’s work is fast-paced, shorter bursts to propel the story along on a rollicking adventure. There were a number of times in this novel where I felt the main character, Nox, was lost in the action and we had no idea what was going on in his head.
A slower, thoughtful approach, wouldn’t fit, though, and not what I would add. Instead, to me, more dialogue would have been key to giving Nox a fuller arc in the story.
Each author tells their story, their way. And always should.
This is one of the main reasons I don’t read novels when I write. I tend to crib styles depending on what I’m reading. It gets in my head and I try to see the world from that perspective instead of making my own.
Stylistic choices, however, should always come from within. Heavy prose or insane action, deep internal conflict or dialogue-rich scenes, these are the choices before you.
Make sure they fit the story you are trying to tell.